Preparation Tips Before Moving to a Memory Care Facility

Moving a loved one into a memory care facility is not an easy decision. It’s emotional, stressful, and often filled with guilt or confusion. You might be dealing with a parent who has dementia, Alzheimer’s, or another condition that affects memory. At some point, it becomes clear that they need more help than you can give at home. That’s when memory care becomes the next step. But the move itself can feel overwhelming if you don’t know what to expect.

If you’re short on time, here’s the short answer: Preparing for a move to memory care involves legal paperwork, downsizing belongings, visiting the facility ahead of time, and helping your loved one feel safe, calm, and familiar during the transition.

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Talk to the Doctor First

Before you do anything, talk to your loved one’s doctor. Ask if they truly need memory care or if something else might help first. Sometimes things like medication changes, a home health aide, or adult day programs might be enough. But if your loved one is wandering, forgetting to eat, or no longer safe at home, the doctor will likely recommend memory care. Having this on record can help with insurance or other support programs.

Also, ask the doctor for a list of their current medications, diagnoses, and medical needs. You’ll need this when speaking to the memory care facility.

Make Sure Legal Documents Are in Order

This part is boring but very important. You don’t want to be in the middle of a medical emergency later and realize you don’t have the authority to make decisions.

Here’s a list of what you need:

Document	Purpose
Power of Attorney (Health Care)	Allows you to make medical decisions on their behalf
Power of Attorney (Finance)	Allows you to manage their money and pay bills
Living Will or Advance Directive	Says what kind of care they want at the end of life
Guardianship (if needed)	Gives legal responsibility if the person can’t make decisions anymore
Insurance Info (Medicare, etc.)	Needed to handle billing and approvals

If you don’t have these yet, meet with an elder law attorney. They’ll walk you through it.

Pick the Right Memory Care Facility

Not all facilities are the same. Some are calm and cozy, while others feel more like hospitals. Visit a few in person. Look around. Is it clean? Does the staff seem friendly? Do residents look comfortable? Do they offer activities your loved one might enjoy?

Ask about:

Staff training in dementia care
What their daily routine looks like
How they handle emergencies
If you can bring personal items like furniture or photos
What meals and snacks are like
If they have visiting hours or flexible rules

Also check reviews online. Talk to families who already have someone staying there. You’ll learn a lot from their experience.

Prepare Emotionally (For You and Them)

This is one of the hardest parts. It’s not just a physical move, it’s emotional. Your loved one might feel confused, scared, or even angry. And you might feel guilt or sadness. That’s all normal.

Talk to them ahead of time in a calm way. Don’t say “You’re going to a facility now.” Say something like, “You’re going to live in a place where people can help take care of you and keep you safe.”

You can also frame it as “a temporary stay” if that makes it easier. Many families start that way and adjust later. Reassure them that you’re still around and that you’ll visit often.

Downsize and Pack the Right Things

Most memory care rooms are small, often just a bedroom and bathroom. You can’t take everything from home. So you need to downsize. But don’t throw everything out.

Here’s what you should bring:

Must-Haves	Examples
Personal Care Items	Toothbrush, soap, lotion
Clothes	Easy to wear, label each piece
Comfort Items	Favorite blanket, pillow
Photos	Family pictures in frames
Simple Decor	A small plant, clock, calendar
Memory Triggers	Old books, crafts, music player

Avoid clutter. Too much stuff can be confusing. Label everything with their name, including clothes and electronics.

Notify People and Update Records

You’ll need to update a few things before the move:

Change of address with the post office
Bank records, billing addresses
Update Medicare/Medicaid details
Inform close friends or religious leaders
If they were seeing a local doctor, dentist, or eye doctor, let them know about the move

This helps prevent confusion later, especially with billing or appointments.

Prepare the Staff at the Facility

Before moving day, meet with the memory care staff. Tell them about your loved one’s habits, likes and dislikes, fears, and triggers. This helps them create a smoother transition.

You can write a short profile with:

What name they prefer (some go by middle name)
Favorite hobbies
Foods they love or hate
What makes them feel calm
Things that confuse or upset them
Daily routines they’re used to

This helps staff treat your loved one like a real person, not just a new resident.

What to Expect on Moving Day

Try to move earlier in the day, when your loved one is more alert. Avoid weekends or holidays when fewer staff are around. Keep the mood calm. You don’t need to talk too much about the move. Keep things simple.

Say something like, “We’re going to your new place now. Let’s get you settled and then we’ll go for lunch.”

Try to stay with them for a little while, but not too long. If the staff recommends that you leave after a bit to help them adjust, follow their advice. It might be harder on you than on them.

Some people adjust fast. Others take a few weeks. There may be confusion, anger, or even a few phone calls begging to come home. That’s part of the process. Stay in touch with the staff, and trust that things will settle over time.

Visiting After the Move

In the first few weeks, you might visit less often or stay for shorter times. Some families visit daily. Some wait a bit to let their loved one settle. There’s no right answer. Ask the staff what they think is best in the beginning.

When you visit:

Stay calm and positive
Bring a small treat or photo
Join them for an activity
Don’t argue if they say things that don’t make sense

If your loved one wants to leave or gets upset, say something like, “You’re safe here, and I’ll see you soon,” and then leave gently.

What If They Refuse to Go?

This happens sometimes. They may say “I’m not moving” or “I don’t need help.” You can try:

Bringing in a third party like a doctor, pastor, or counselor
Starting with a respite stay instead of a permanent move
Making the room look like home before they arrive
Avoiding too much explanation — say it’s a place for healing, or just “a new place for now”

Over time, many people do settle in and start enjoying the routine and company.

Costs and Financial Help

Memory care can be expensive. It varies depending on where you live and what services are included.

Here’s a basic idea:

Location	Average Monthly Cost
Small Town	$3,000 – $5,000
Mid-size City	$5,000 – $7,000
Big Metro Area	$6,000 – $10,000

Ways to cover costs:

Long-term care insurance
VA benefits (for veterans and spouses)
Medicaid (if eligible)
Selling or renting out the home
Family pitching in

Talk to the facility’s financial coordinator. They’ll explain options and what’s covered.

Key Points to Remember

Talk to the doctor first to confirm memory care is needed
Make sure legal papers like Power of Attorney are ready
Visit and compare different memory care facilities
Prepare your loved one gently — emotionally and physically
Pack light, familiar items that bring comfort
Label everything clearly
Stay calm and patient during the move
Keep the staff informed about your loved one’s habits and needs
Don’t panic if things are rough at first — it takes time to adjust
Ask about financial help if you’re worried about cost

Thanks for reading. I hope this article helped you understand what to expect and how to prepare for moving into memory care. If you have any questions, comment below. And please share this with friends and family on social media if you found it useful.