Mom Hindered My Career. How Do I Ask for More Inheritance?

Growing up, we often look to our parents for guidance and support as we navigate the path to our future careers. However, what happens when a parent’s actions inadvertently derail those plans? In this blog post, I will talk about the challenges of dealing with a parent who may have hindered your career ambitions and how to broach the topic of needing a larger share of inheritance with your siblings as a result.

My Mom Derailed My Career. How Do I Tell My Siblings I Need a Larger Share of Our Inheritance?

My Mom Derailed My Career

an angry girl

Growing up, we often look to our parents for guidance and support as we embark on the journey toward our chosen career paths. However, sometimes these parental figures, despite their best intentions, can inadvertently hinder our progress. This could manifest in various ways, such as discouraging us from pursuing our passions, imposing their own aspirations upon us, or even directly interfering with our opportunities.

For instance, imagine a scenario where you’ve always had a passion for music, dreaming of becoming a professional musician. However, your mother, concerned about the stability and financial security of such a career, continuously pushes you to pursue a more traditional path in business or medicine. Despite your talents and interests, you find yourself veering away from your true calling, ultimately feeling unfulfilled in your chosen profession.

In other cases, parental interference may take a more direct form. For example, a parent might sabotage job opportunities or educational pursuits out of jealousy or a desire to control their child’s life. This could include withholding financial support, spreading negative opinions about potential employers or educational institutions, or manipulating circumstances to prevent the child from succeeding.

The consequences of such interference can be significant, impacting not only one’s career trajectory but also their self-esteem, sense of purpose, and overall well-being. Feeling like your career aspirations were derailed by a parent can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and a sense of lost potential.

How Do I Tell My Siblings I Need a Larger Share of Our Inheritance?

american family

Now, let’s address the second part of the statement – the delicate matter of discussing inheritance with siblings. In many families, the distribution of inheritance can be a source of tension and disagreement, particularly when there are perceived disparities in contributions, needs, or deservingness among the heirs.

Suppose you believe that your career was significantly hindered by your mother’s actions. In that case, you may feel justified in seeking a larger share of the inheritance to compensate for the opportunities lost and the financial impact incurred as a result. However, broaching this topic with your siblings requires careful consideration and tact.

Open Communication: Start by initiating an open and honest conversation with your siblings about your concerns regarding the inheritance. Choose a time and place where everyone feels comfortable and can express their thoughts freely.

Explain Your Perspective: Share your personal experiences and how your career aspirations were affected by your mother’s actions. Help your siblings understand the challenges you faced and the impact they had on your life, both financially and emotionally.

Focus on Fairness: Emphasize that your goal is not to create conflict or animosity but to ensure fairness and equity in the distribution of assets. Frame your request for a larger share of the inheritance as a matter of addressing past injustices and providing for your future needs.

Seek Mediation if Necessary: If discussions become heated or contentious, consider enlisting the help of a neutral third party, such as a mediator or family therapist, to facilitate constructive dialogue and find a resolution that satisfies everyone involved.

Explore Legal Options: If attempts at reaching a consensus with your siblings prove unsuccessful, you may need to explore legal options for addressing your concerns. Consult with a lawyer specializing in inheritance and estate planning to understand your rights and potential courses of action.

Ultimately, the goal should be to find a solution that respects everyone’s perspectives and preserves family relationships, while also ensuring that your needs and concerns are acknowledged and addressed. By approaching the topic with empathy, honesty, and a willingness to listen, you can navigate this sensitive issue with grace and understanding.

Can a Parent Derail Their Adult Child’s Career?

old woman looking at a photo frame

Yes, a parent can inadvertently derail their adult child’s career. This can happen in various ways, such as discouraging certain career paths, imposing their own ambitions onto their child, or even sabotaging opportunities out of jealousy or control. For example, a parent might discourage their child from pursuing a creative career because they believe it’s unstable or unrealistic, pushing them instead towards a more traditional path like medicine or law.

What Does the Law Say?

When it comes to inheritance and family matters, the law can guide how assets should be distributed. However, the legal aspects can vary depending on your location and specific circumstances.

In many jurisdictions, inheritance laws prioritize fairness and equity among heirs, taking into account factors like financial need, contributions to the family, and any special circumstances or hardships faced by individual beneficiaries.

In cases where a parent’s actions have significantly impacted an adult child’s career and financial prospects, it may be possible to make a case for a larger share of the inheritance. This could involve presenting evidence of the interference or damage caused by the parent, as well as demonstrating the financial and emotional consequences for the affected individual.


Navigating the complexities of family dynamics and inheritance can be challenging, especially when there are underlying issues like career derailment to consider. It’s essential to approach these conversations with sensitivity and honesty, recognizing the impact of past actions while advocating for your own needs and rights.

If you find yourself in a situation where you believe you deserve a larger share of inheritance due to career interference by a parent, it’s important to seek legal advice and explore your options. Ultimately, finding a resolution that feels fair and equitable to all parties involved is key to preserving family relationships and securing your financial future.

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