My Mother Hates the Nursing Home- How Can I Help Her?

Older adults living in nursing home facilities struggle to cope with the sudden change in their lives. After living with their family for so many years, they begin to feel homesick in their new nursing home. This article is for you if you are wondering why your mother hates the nursing home.

A decline in overall health is one of the reasons a person in their 70s or 80s enters a nursing home. Your mother could be suffering from an undiagnosed condition. In addition, they may also be experiencing abuse in the nursing home settings, WHO says it’s quite common. Find out why she hates the nursing home. Is she just homesick or there’s something wrong with the nursing home?

How often should I visit my mother in her nursing home?

The frequency with which one must visit their mother in a nursing home varies with certain factors. Do you have a close relationship with your mother? Does she like it when you visit her? Does she get the attention you give here on your visits?

Some people are comfortable being by themselves. They don’t want to be bothered again and again. If this sounds like your mother, you should keep the visits to 1-2 times per month— once a week at maximum.

I know some people who visit their parents living in a nursing home on a daily basis. They are friends with their parents. And the care facility is nearby, so they can pop in and out anytime they wish. 

Before planning your visits, you should also take into account her physical and mental condition. Can she walk on her own? Is she on oxygen? Is she eating well? 

Assuming her condition is not good, and the nursing home staff is taking care of her, there’s no need to visit her frequently. You can keep tabs on her health by calling or meeting the head nurse. 

Ultimately, it’s up to your mother. If she is not capable of making decisions or having a conversation, you can judge by how she reacts to your presence in the nursing home. There are adult children who struggle to find time to visit their mothers in the nursing home. 

My mother is unhappy in the nursing home

Life can never be easy for a caregiver when your mother is unhappy about something. Most caregivers can feel the unhappiness of their mother staying in a nursing home and wonder what they can do to make it go away. 

Some people think that they need to overspend to place their mother in a nicer care home. But there are instances where a person living in a lavish nursing home shows signs of sadness. 

If your mother has recently moved into a nursing home, I suggest you wait a few weeks before you move her out. Moving from a residential home to a nursing home is never easy, especially for introverted folks who like the tranquility of solitude.

Your mother needs to get used to the environment of a nursing home facility. Remember that adjusting to a new place is easy when you have a loved one by your side. You might have to visit her daily until she gets used to the nursing home. 

Also make sure that the person giving her medications, food, etc respects her privacy. This is if your mother is a private person. It is important to know what kind of environment your mother wants around her. 

If she’s a chatty person, she would want people to give her attention and talk to her.

Some people need more time to get adjusted to a new environment. If this sounds like your mother, allow her the time to soak in the surroundings at her own pace. 


If you have done everything but your mother still hates the nursing home, you should try moving her to an assisted living facility. Assisted living provides personal care in a home-like environment. Your mother will feel more comfortable in a residential setting of an assisted living facility.

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